Tweak: Growing Up On Methamphetamines

Nic attends a difficult but enlightening core group therapy session where he’s asked to intuitively choose different stuffed animals to represent things in his life. His group assesses his choices and points out that he has picked the same animal to represent Zelda and his mother. When asked whether he sees connections between the two, Nic admits that “it actually seems pretty obvious to me” (294) that both are unattainable women that he fears losing and wishes to rescue. Nic does not find this helpful, because what he can’t do anything about his projections. The therapists encourage him to acknowledge and sit with his projections and recognize that they hint at his own self-hatred and fear. If he were “to get healthy, to feel good about who you are” (294), he and Zelda would no longer fit together. Nic is shaken by this but refuses to believe that the center can change him.

Nic admits to opening up a bit and giving the treatment program a genuine try. He has two particularly eye-opening experiences. One is in his all-male core group called Empowerment. After he tells the group his story of addiction, he tries to avoid their eyes but is forced to sit and make eye contact with all of his group.