The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg

Professor Fleabottom listens to Homer’s tale of woe, congratulates him on a fine job of exaggeration, and tells him the Caravan of Miracles medicine show will follow the army as an entertainment for the troops. Homer can join the circus and search for Harold among the soldiers. Homer offers to pay Fleabottom to help him find his brother, if they can first find Mr. Willow. Fleabottom tells Homer that the money is long gone, as the Nibblys clearly are professional con artists, but he’ll do what he can to help Homer find Harold. Fleabottom calls for the tattooed lady—a skinny, red-haired woman named Minerva—hands her some coins, and orders her to get Homer a bath. 

Homer hates baths. To him, a bath “is sort of like drowning, with soap” (113). He tries to talk Minerva into spending the coins on candy, but she lifts him, places him across her hip, and carries him to a Chinese laundry, where the workers put Homer into a big tub of soapy hot water and scrub him clean. On the way back, Minerva buys Homer some candy. At the docks, the circus wagons are loaded and ready, and Fleabottom tells Minerva he’s eager to leave the area because it’s riddled with spies.