The Hand That First Held Mine

Content Warning: This section references traumatic childbirth and the traumatic loss of a parent.

As Elina and Lexie experience first-time motherhood, they share certain observations and experiences. These shared experiences suggest that elements of motherhood—the physical trauma of labor, the hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy and the postpartum period, and above all, the fierceness of maternal love—transcend time and societal expectation.

The novel focuses in particular on how motherhood reorients one’s life and identity. O’Farrell quickly establishes that Lexie is fiercely independent, refusing to live on any terms she does not set for herself. Yet even Lexie, who resists any romantic relationship that would impinge on her freedom, finds that motherhood has tied her irrevocably to another person: “When she leaves the house […] she senses a thread that runs between her and her son […]. By the end of the day, she feels utterly unravelled, almost mad with desire to be back with him” (237). That even Lexie ends up living for someone beyond herself underscores how transformative motherhood is, irrespective of individual culture, personality, etc.

Elina and Lexie both have moments in early motherhood where they must navigate this complete transformation. In both cases, they find themselves imagining asking other mothers they see for advice or understanding.