The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

de Becker clarifies the seven survival signals of Kelly’s attacker, commonly used to disarm a target. Firstly, Forced Teaming was employed when Kelly’s attacker picked up the cans of cat food that she dropped and insisted they proceed to her apartment to feed her pet. The use of “we,” “us,” and shared interests is a tactic for ingratiating oneself. While not always sinister, this tactic is always used to influence behavior. Secondly, de Becker identifies Charm and Niceness as intentional decisions, not traits. When someone acts “nice,” they also do so to influence behavior, to hide ulterior motives. Thirdly, de Becker describes the sharing of Too Many Details as an attempt to appear trustworthy: “When people are telling the truth, they don’t feel doubted, so they don’t feel the need for additional support in the form of details” (65). Fourthly, when Kelly tried to resist her attacker’s assistance, he engaged in Typecasting—characterizing her as too proud to accept help, to push her to prove him wrong. De Becker advises ignoring typecasting. Fifthly, Loan Sharking comprises offering help to collect a debt. Sixthly, when Kelly remained hesitant to accept help, her attacker employed The Unsolicited Promise—offered in the face of resistance.