Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

Cuddy begins the chapter by asking questions about what “self” and the “authentic self” mean. She summarizes the findings of psychologists and philosophers into three aspects of the self: “1. Multifaceted, not singular. 2. Expressed and reflected through our thoughts, feelings, values, and behaviors. 3. Dynamic and flexible, not static and rigid” (43). There is not a single, ever-present self, but instead the self is an “experience—a state, not a trait” (43).

The feeling of being true to oneself comes and goes. It has multiple facets because how you show up as a parent is a different side of yourself than the side of you that is a friend. We experience some aspects of the self as undesirable, like the medical student Cuddy describes who is ashamed of his stutter. She argues that characteristics like that are also part of our authentic selves because the challenge they present to us contributes to make us who we are.

Laura Morgan Roberts, an expert in helping people discover their authentic selves in the workplace, helps people to create a portrait of themselves at their best by identifying “enablers” and “blockers,” which are the “attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that help and hurt their ability to summon forth their best selves” (45-46).