Picture Us in the Light

Picture Us in the Light is a young adult novel written by Kelly Loy Gilbert and published in 2018 by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. Gilbert is the author of three young adult novels, all of which focus on the young Asian American experience. Picture Us in the Light is written in the first-person perspective of protagonist Danny Cheng, but Gilbert includes flashbacks to China to connect Danny to a past his parents have kept from him. The novel explores themes of coming-of-age, familial love, and resilience.

Content Warning: Picture Us in the Light mentions suicide.

Plot Summary

Danny Cheng is a happy teenager in his senior year of high school in California. His parents are originally from China and are proud of Danny’s accomplishments. His friends Harry and Regina are high achievers like him. Danny’s life is perfect: He has friends, a supportive family, and admission to the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD), his dream school. He even gets his portraits accepted by a San Francisco art gallery. But everything changes when Danny’s father gets fired from his job as a scientist. Without his father’s job, his parents can’t afford their rent in Cupertino. As Danny’s parents prepare to move to San Jose (and enroll Danny in a new high school for the remainder of his senior year), Danny can’t stop thinking about a box of mysterious papers he found in his father’s room. The box contained documents about Danny’s sister, who died as a child before his birth, and documents about a man named Clay Ballard.

Danny is desperate to stay at his high school, as his friends are important to him—in particular, he worries that his friendship with Regina has been damaged by guilt over their friend Sandra’s death by suicide during their junior year. Regina wants Danny to draw a portrait of Sandra for a spread in the school newspaper honoring her life and death. The spread is controversial among the students working on the paper, but they agree to keep it a secret from their faculty advisor. Meanwhile, Danny struggles with his feelings for his best friend Harry. He’s noticed an electric reaction to Harry when they’re in close proximity, and he worries that moving to San Jose and then RISD will force their friendship to end. Danny decides to lie to his parents about going to his new high school, while continuing to attend his current one.

Danny researches Clay Ballard, the mystery man from his father’s documents, but keeps hitting dead ends. Finally, reconnecting with a childhood friend helps him figure out why his father has records on Clay Ballard. Danny discovers that his parents are wanted for an assault crime against the man; this explains why they left Austin, where Danny was born, so suddenly, and also explains why their new move to San Jose is equally fraught with tension.

Danny’s lie about attending his new high school is discovered when the spread on Sandra runs in the paper. The school calls his parents, exposing his plan. Danny and his parents argue in the car, leading to a car accident that hurts his mother. When paramedics are called, Danny’s parents reject medical care. This incident forces Danny’s father to confess to Danny that he and his mother no longer have their green cards and are living in the country without legal documents.

Danny and his mother go to San Francisco to pick up his portraits as his showcase at the art gallery ends. He inquires about a portrait of his mother that sold and discovers that it was bought by someone with the last name Ballard. Danny restarts his research on Clay Ballard and finds an Asian woman living in California with the name Joy Ballard. He confronts his mother about Joy, and she admits that Joy is his sister. She reveals that Danny’s sister never died. Rather, she and Danny’s father left his sister in China with his grandfather until they could settle in America. When they returned for her, they discovered that Danny’s grandfather had died, and his sister was kidnapped by a man who sold her to an orphanage. She was then adopted by an American family—the Ballards. Danny’s mother explains that their assault charge against Clay Ballard stems from a confrontation they had at Clay’s house, when they tracked down Joy and tried to get her back.

Danny decides to meet Joy Ballard and discovers that she’s doing field research in upstate California. He and Harry drive up to surprise her with a meeting. During the drive, Danny tries to tell Harry about his feelings for him. Upon arrival, Danny introduces himself to Joy, who is polite but insists that she doesn’t want anything to do with Danny’s family. Deflated, Danny returns home to tell his parents that he met Joy and that she’s doing well. He also decides not to attend RISD so he can help his parents in their hour of need. The next morning, he wakes up to discover that his parents are gone. They’ve left him some money and a note telling him that they’ll find him again in the future. Danny’s parents decided to leave so Danny wouldn’t have to deal with their burden and could instead embrace his future at RISD.

The novel ends with Joy, who had in fact also been looking for her biological family for years. She had once met her biological father, whom she tracked down at his workplace when he was still a scientist in California, but he turned her away and told her it was too dangerous to be together. When she met Danny, she had been nursing her resentment over this incident. Joy had been tracking Danny online as well, which is how she found his art show and bought the portrait of their mother. Later, Joy thinks about Danny and finds him again, at another art show.