Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Introduction

Rosenberg states that humans are naturally inclined to behave compassionately, but are led astray toward violent and exploitative behavior by society. He believes that there are specific ways of communicating (both speaking and listening) that allow us to remain connected to our innately compassionate selves; he calls this manner of communicating Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

A Way to Focus Attention

Our reactions to others, in terms of what we hear and what we say in response, are most often automatic; NVC forces us to communicate with an awareness of what we feel, want, and perceive. It emphasizes honesty and clarity, while also balancing an empathetic recognition of what others might need or want. Resistance, defensiveness, and violence are minimized in this approach. Communicating with NVC helps to yield what is being sought.

Enriching others’ lives brings joy; therefore, by accurately stating what we are feeling and what our needs are, we allow others to enrich their lives by compassionately giving in response to those needs, as well as being better able to understand what others need so that we can compassionately give to them.

The NVC Process

The four components of NVC are observation, feeling, needs, and request.