“Nobody would know I had ever been in it. Except, of course, that there always remains something. Yes, there always remains something.”
Sasha attempts to gather herself after suddenly crying in public. She reflects on how her trauma remains unnoticeable and seemingly without impact. Despite outward appearances, Sasha repeats twice and reiterates that the impact of her trauma, and trauma in general, is inevitable and undeniable.
“One needs a lot of courage, to live.”
In a café, Sasha overhears these words spoken by an Arab man to what she describes as a melancholy girl. The beginning of the statement stands on its own, but, when placed in the context of the last two words, the entire statement further connects to Sasha’s plight. Though living seems to imply a simple state of being, here it requires courage, a word with heroic connotations. The mere act of living requires courage on Sasha’s part, as she must withstand so much from her past and in her present just to continue on.
“I try, but they always see through me. The passages will never lead anywhere, the doors will always be shut. I know.”
Referring to her failed attempt to be a tour guide, this quote reveals the fatalistic quality of Sasha’s point of view. The use of the words “never” and “always” connects to a sense of hopelessness. Despite Sasha’s best efforts, she is never able to progress past her struggles, as solidified in the simple declarative statement of “I know.
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By Jean Rhys