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Love is something neither Gideon nor Harrow experiences in their daily lives. Gideon has been abused since she was a toddler by the Ninth House and holds a crushing amount of guilt over the death of Harrow’s parents. Harrow cannot stand the atrocities her parents committed and treats herself like an abomination. Harrow also bears the weight of the Ninth House entirely by herself. People treat her as a revered and dangerous figure and not as a person who needs care. Gideon and Harrow take out their frustrations on one another because the other is a key component of their self-loathing: Gideon thinks Harrow hates her because of the suicide of her parents. Harrow sees the mistakes of her parents in Gideon’s survival and believes Gideon will not accept her. Despite their dysfunctional dynamic, the two need one another. They have nobody and nothing else in the Ninth House.
The Lyctor trials in Canaan House push the pair’s loneliness and self-loathing to the brink. Harrow is paranoid about everyone and everything, which causes her to isolate herself entirely from Gideon. This, in turn, prompts Gideon to internalize the false idea that Harrow despises her. Gideon is “sore and furious with loneliness” in the early days at Canaan House (103).
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