Everything We Never Said

“I’ve earned this silence, heavy as a stone around my neck.”

Via simile, Ella compares her mother’s silence to a heavy stone that hangs around her neck. Such a comparison emphasizes the negative quality of the silence—Ella is convinced that her mother is disappointed in her for her role in Hayley’s death—as well as how it burdens Ella. The simile establishes an ominous mood as well as indirectly characterizes Ella as guilt-ridden and deeply sorrowful, introducing the theme of The Futility of Guilt on the first page.

“The cat-eye makeup that had looked so femme fatale the night before now made me look like I wanted to hold Gotham City for ransom with laughing gas.”

Ella’s allusion to the Joker, Batman’s nemesis, highlights how dependent Ella was on her friend before Hayley’s death. On the first day of their junior year, Ella’s hair was a disaster, and the make-up she practiced felt so exaggerated and comical that she looked like a cartoon villain. Hayley rushed right over to help. This is how their relationship worked: Ella needed to be taken care of, and Hayley took care of her. This description characterizes Ella as somewhat hapless and helpless, as well as full of self-doubt.