Dept. of Speculation

The wife starts reading a new book on civilization. She also reads studies of “the pain involved in romantic breakups” (135). Despite their heartbreak, she and the husband sometimes hold hands in bed. Meanwhile, the wife meditates on lines from Yeats and Keats. One day, she accuses the husband of turning her into a cartoon. She still doesn’t know how to make sense of their situation and struggles to field her married friends’ questions. She usually either cries or shrugs when they mention the husband’s affair.

The wife realizes that she doesn’t want her marriage to end. Sometimes she imagines having sex with different people, but she’s good at controlling herself. Sometimes her friends ask her if she has a secret life, but she can’t think of any secrets she’s keeping that aren’t banal.

After some time, the wife makes a confession to the philosopher. She admits that even if her husband leaves her for the girl, she’ll count herself lucky that she got to share a few good years with him. He seems to understand, and they cry together. Meanwhile, she continues reading the adultery book and discussing her situation with her sister, who she finally goes to see in London. While there, she writes a letter to the husband, using their old return address. One day, her sister asks about the husband’s past. The wife admits that he’s never experienced true unhappiness or difficulty, which the sisters agree might be the reason for his affair.

Sometimes the wife wonders if she’s invented this whole story. She could be living in an alternative reality.

The wife returns from her trip. Everything back at home makes her think about the husband and the girl. Then one day, the wife and husband meet in the park, and the husband insists he wants a trial separation. The wife tells her therapist, who recommends getting a divorce instead. She also continues talking to the philosopher about her situation. He is back in the city, and they start spending more time at the philosopher’s house again. He recently lost his brother, and they discuss the brother’s death and the philosopher’s grief.

One night, the wife and husband get into a fight. The wife leaves and spends the night at a hotel. She feels detached, like she’s watching herself do everything. She texts the husband to tell him where she is and spends the night crying and restless.

The next morning, she returns home. The husband is still asleep. When he wakes up, he accuses her of leaving him and then leaves the house himself. Despairing, the wife calls the babysitter and invites the philosopher over. The wife silently understands her husband’s situation, as he’s caught between two women and what each of them wants.

The wife meets up with her ex-boyfriend at the park. The wife remembers what she liked about him, but the dynamic changes when she reveals the truth about her marital situation. They say goodbye, and the wife knows they won’t see each other again.

The wife considers admitting herself to the hospital. She feels uncomfortable around sharp objects and worries about hurting herself. She tries to act normal at the playground around the other mothers but has a hard time interacting. She doesn’t go to the hospital because she’s afraid she’ll never leave if she does. Meanwhile, she talks to her sister more often. The sister suggests she, the husband, and their daughter go and stay at her family’s house in Pennsylvania. She thinks getting out of the city will help.

The wife accepts her sister’s offer. She and her family travel to Pennsylvania. While there, the wife imagines becoming an art monster again. Meanwhile, she hides money around the house and struggles to feel energized. Some days she’s better at noticing the weather, insects, birds, and trees. She and her family eventually settle into this country lifestyle.

The wife tries to change her attitude towards the husband. However, she finds his Midwestern nature suddenly impossible to ignore. Some nights she feels differently, and they sit together in the yard. One night, he kisses her. She hears the bug zapper going off behind them.

The wife and husband start to worry about their daughter because she misses the city. On her birthday, they give her a puppy. She falls in love with the dog and seems better thereafter. However, the wife still feels upset. Some nights, she has to run out into the yard and flap her hands to feel better. Eventually, she starts taking medication for her anxiety.

The wife claims a room in the upstairs of the house where she begins to write a new book. Meanwhile, the daughter adjusts to life in the country. The wife and husband still sometimes fight, but the wife feels less distraught over time.

One day, the wife and husband bathe and care for the dog together. Another day, the husband starts teaching the daughter piano. Another day still, the husband writes a few songs about outer space for the wife. Meanwhile, the wife writes to the philosopher, works on her book, and basks in the beauty of her new environment.

The wife and husband watch the weather outside the window. The husband makes a fire. At dinner, he peels an apple for the daughter in one stroke. Later that night, the wife grades papers and encounters the same image—a father peeling an apple for his daughter—in one of her student’s stories. The husband admits he wrote it and slipped it into her pile. The daughter enjoys the outdoors. The wife watches her husband sleep, stroking his hair.

The narrative shifts back into the first-person point of view.

The narrator and her family enjoy the start of winter. One morning, they wait out in the snow for their daughter’s bus. Watching her get onto the bus, the narrator deems the scene art.