Before I Let Go

Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses the novel’s treatment of child loss, stillbirth, pregnancy complications, depression, and suicidal ideation.

When the novel opens, Yasmen is co-running a restaurant in Atlanta’s bustling Skyland neighborhood and raising two children, while amicably co-parenting with her ex-husband, Josiah. Yasmen is also in recovery from complicated grief and depression after the loss of Josiah’s aunt Byrd and their son Henry, who was stillborn at 36 weeks. Yasmen is a driven and dedicated entrepreneur and parent and a fiercely loyal friend. She is passionate and deeply introspective and struggles to forgive herself for the long-term consequences of her depressive episode. Yasmen remembers this time as “looking up at my life from the bottom of a well, the walls slippery, and seeing no way out” (415). Yasmen firmly believes that therapy and medication saved her life, and she does her best to assure her children that they, too, can always seek mental health supports if they need it.

Yasmen’s key struggles during the novel include her guilt and self-recrimination, especially over her relationships with Josiah and Deja, her daughter, who blames her for the divorce. Yasmen has lingering anger over Josiah’s dismissal of therapy, which persists even as he agrees to go for the sake of their son.